Dhel,
You are quite wise to entertain the notion of diffusion over absorption as diffusion - it is usually more $$$ though.
Try to think of sound in terms of echoes.
As I understand it, diffusors are almost always used to greatest effect in front of the speakers to homogenize echoes (i.e. by creating more broad/even/nice echoes.) Absorption is used behind speakers so as to soak up that homogenous echo and shorten the it's delay time. In short, diffusion creates a nicer sounding, more balanced echo & absorption controls how quickly that echo fades out (of our perception/environment.)
As for which type of diffusor to use that's a little more complicated. Whichever one seems most logical to you for your particular room is the best choice. I would venture to guess that you don't think most diffusors are exactly beautiful works of art, so I'd suggest getting a set that can be hidden in your ceiling after you find their optimal locations.
I'd start here:
http://www.rpginc.com/residential/cinemusic-products.htm
As for the tube vs. solid state debate...
I've heard what you're referring to and imho the nicer tube pre's don't suffer from a lack of bass definition like some less expensive designs can because the designers usually err on the side of more capacitance (more $$$) in a given circuit. I'd be interested to see what you think of an Audio Research SP9 or a Quad QC24.
http://cls.audiogon.com/cgi-bin/cls.pl?preatube&1222187146
http://cls.audiogon.com/cgi-bin/cls.pl?preatube&1219532375
Anyways, I'm glad to see your outta that little boxy bedroom; that was, I'm sure, a MUCH bigger improvement to the sound than these little tweaky things we're talking about now. Take it easy!