Barn & basement boys do need to understand that I do question their motives: its not the musical emotion they are after in their one chair but its the apparatus they drool over that gives them their fix.
I think you are not only making too strong a statement but also generalising a bit too fast:
1. For example, I happen to have my main system in a dedicated room in my basement for two reasons:
a)it is a place I can go to and relax while listening to my favorite record alone or with friends or my kids who understand that the music in there sounds "real" as they say..
b)I can play good music and good sound while spending time with my kids in the adjacent playroom that is the rest of the basement.
2) Now, on the topic of sending music and gear back to back, this is not different from sending driving and cars back-to-back...yes there are folks who buy BMers or Porsche to be seen in them or who buy Civic so they can spend time tweaking it and dressing it of any kind of apparatus...but you also have those who buy sports cars because they like the emotion of driving it...and those who are motivated by both and who get a kick looking at it, owning it and driving it.
I think statements like yours are killing this industry (but your purchases don't!)as they are trying to create an antagonism between hifi and music to the point that it is common to read in these forums that people spending thousands $$$ in hifi gear and the time it takes to research, shop, set-up and tweak are doing all this at the expense of time spent enjoying music.
I happen to be a wine amateur as well and I enjoy as much reading on-shopping for-collecting bottles as I enjoy drinking them , sometimes alone, sometimes with friends.
To conclude, different gear make the same music convey different emotions. One system will emphasize bass response and overall tune "energy", an other set of gear will focus on immediacy, transparency, detail, a sense of "you are there"....I think loving music is also loving different interpretations of the same piece and whether it is alone or in group is just a different set of emotions..I love concerts for the energy that one gets from thousands of people around but I seldom enjoy acoustic of most commercial venues.
In short, many Agoners like music, like their gear, may have a single chair and/or a 5-seat sofa in their audio room and music means as much too them as a nice pair of handcrafted speakers.
Nice system you have anyway!